is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
