I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
