ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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