My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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