Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
