We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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