Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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