i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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