so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
