He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Your cock deserves a montage
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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