hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
