so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
