Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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