Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize