So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
