Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
operation have a gay friend backfired
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize