I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
