I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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