I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
