it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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