I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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