her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
