Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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