You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
