sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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