some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sorry about my life...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize