I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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