I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i will never coherently bang her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize