Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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