yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
