And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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