He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
