I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
