I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
