There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
