Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize