he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
