its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
