Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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