wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
