Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
