if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I CAN MOONWALK!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
being pregnant is like rehab
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize