This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
