i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
