I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
