Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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