I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
