Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's blow job season.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
