My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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