What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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