I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
