Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
