I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
