I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
