Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
