I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We have started to decorate penises.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
