then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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