i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
wow bdsm is so cute
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
