he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize