it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize